I daydream. I accept academy awards, MTV awards and even the odd Pulitzer Prize while sitting at my desk at work, waiting for the person at the other end to pick up the phone.
I attend legendary concerts and parties on the arm of a plethora of rock stars while I wait for my train to pull up to the platform.
The idea of dating a rock star has always appealed to me. I have a thing for punk rock boys with eyeliner and I thought I would fit in nicely in a rock n roll house in California; going to great shows, eating at cool vegan restaurants and hangin' out every night.
I gave the girlfriend idea some serious thought during a very slow night at work. (Hey, how many hours can you spend listening to a crackling police radio before you zone out and start to fantasize about the guys on your desktop wallpaper.)
And then it hit me. I would suck at being a rock star's girlfriend. Why?
6. I can never shut up.
I watched an interview with Blaqk Audio, where their girlfriends are sitting quietly in the background. The girls smile sweetly and don't make a sound. I would have to sit on my hands and duct tape my mouth to be that quiet when there's a microphone about.
I can't help it, I'm an opinionated loudmouth. As you might have noticed...
5. A boyfriend who travels the world for a living sucks.
Because if the car breaks down while he is in Singapore or South Africa then it's up to you to get it working again. The same goes for waterpipes that burst open and freezers that stop working. And if you get sick there is no one at home to take care of you.
Being independent does not mean being in charge of the house while mr rockstar is out having fun.
4. Many bands have been together since their teens, and consider the band their family.
If you thought winning over your future mother-in-law was hard, try carving a place for yourself in a really tight-knit group of friends. Especially when your man shares years of memories and in-jokes with his bandmates and spends more quality time with them than with you.
3. I have never been comfortable sitting at the "girlfriend table" looking pretty while the boys do their thing. I am an awesome writer/photographer/organizer and I like to be part of the action. Loudmoths make terrible wallflowers.
2. If mr rockstar decides to cheat on me there are hundreds of willing candidates. Some will even sell their story to the tabloids. Whatever happened to "don't kiss and tell"?
1. I wanna be acknowledged for my work. The thought of being reduced to "punk in writing; girlfriend of rockstar" makes me cringe. It should be "punk in writing, awesome writer/photographer who happens to date a rock star".